phoneticmeow:

britney2007spears:

fun on the right, business on the left

I’m seriously concerned my left or her left

(Source: fivegum, via i-suck-dick)

gero-rin:

beyonce makes me feel powerful

(Source: hopelesswar, via likeserenitys)

(Source: nickimlnaj, via imnotjailbait)

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

(Source: soulgems, via i-suck-dick)

slythergin:

slytherin-elsa:

My mom got me this shiRT AND I AM LAUGHING SO HARD SHE DOESNT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SHES DONE SHE DOESNT GET THE IRONY IN THIS I AM A CLOSETED LESBIAN THIS IS COMEDY GOLD I MIGHT COME OUT TO HER OVER THIS FUCKING SHIRT JUST TO EXPLAIN WHY I CANT STOP LAUGHING

UPDATE: When I told her I’m gay she crossed her arms and said in a really pissed off voice “Are you telling me I spent $15 on that shirt for nothing??”

(via zackisontumblr)

(Source: afterdvrk, via somebodytoloves)

I am attracted to the idea
of your lips
exploring my body
as if it were a map
and you kept getting lost
on purpose.

(Source: ryangpoet, via sexual-thoughts-of-a-virgin)

"Just looking at him could make me tremble. When he took my hand in his, the feeling caught me in the pit of my stomach–his hand was warm, protecting, and full of love. When he saw me at the beginning of the day and when he called me on the telephone, his first words were always, ‘Hello, Baby.’"

Lauren Bacall on Humphrey Bogart (via larmoyante)

(via sexual-thoughts-of-a-virgin)

  • Bae: babe come over
  • Me: I just put my bagel bites in the oven
  • Bae: my parents aren't home
  • Me: I literally just put them in the oven

(Source: awwww-cute, via passionatesexx)